A False Promise Is Resistance In Action
Desiring and deserving complete transformation
This morning I realise that I’m at one of life’s junctures once again. It’s a juncture that can literally change my life. I’ve been here before so I know this feeling. I’m on the precipice of a new relationship with myself, one where I have decided to completely transform my relationship with….alcohol.
This is a little scary sharing here to be honest. I’ve paused several times, asking myself if I really want to do this here with you. And to be direct, this doesn’t mean that I will go booze free but rather that I will have complete transformation with it. It’s very easy for me to tip over the edge from having fun to over-indulging and I don’t like that feeling at all.
And so why am I sharing here especially when I’d prefer not to?
I’m giving you the opportunity to be real, because I am with you.
We all have times when things aren’t going as well as they could, or when we experience a version of ourselves that we don’t like, or when we don’t like the way we feel in certain circumstances and relationships, or when we know that there’s a different version of reality that could be so much better.
I’m sharing here in service to you no matter what the subject matter is - health, business, relationships, money etc. Because I know, and you will probably recognise yourself here too, the ways in which we respond that do the opposite of facilitating complete transformation. And complete transformation is what I’m going for and nothing short of it. Wherever there is lovelessness, powerlessness and undeservedness, I’m choosing to do the work and bring all of it back to love, freedom, joy and peace. That’s how I’ve lived my life for the past 22 years and it’s my life commitment.
In fact it’s no surprise that the decision for complete transformation is arriving in a year that is themed Untapped Abundance. Because when we don’t deserve to give ourselves complete transformation with something that isn’t making us happy, we put a lid on abundance - on the abundance of who we are, on the abundance of what matters the most to us and on the abundance of what we are here to experience.
When we don’t deserve to give ourselves complete transformation we do these things instead.
We pain relieve the tension away
We try to smooth out and hush the gnarly feelings, like as if we’re patting them on the head saying there, there, I won’t be feeling you for much longer. And then distract ourselves with busyness and responsibilities and false promises we make to ourselves so that we don’t continue owning up and feeling the feels. Time heals all wounds they say. But not really.
I wonder what false promises you may have made with yourself?
We create chaos
Who would ever consciously create chaos? But we do. We create chaos so that we don’t have to go inwards, so that we don’t have to feel, so that we don’t have to get honest and own up. There’s no room for that when chaos abounds. And then when chaos involves others we definitely don’t have the space to presence what’s really going on inside of ourselves, to give that the attention it desires. It’s also easier to blame others for the undesired situation we find ourselves in.
Strangely, chaos is also a form of control, a paradox I know. If we’re in chaos, we have supposed control over our inner world, again because we don’t have the inner spaciousness to be present to our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. We don’t have the capacity to take responsibility for what is really going on within us. Chaos acts as an adult tantrum, so noisy and demanding of attention ‘out there’, rather than ‘in here’.
If chaos is part of your world, consider what it might be masking.
We make practical decisions
What can I do to fix this problem? How can I manage this better so that this unwanted thing doesn’t happen the next time? The answers however are never resourced from the practical in the first instance. Why? Because we are human beings, and it is who we are being, consciously and unconsciously that screen plays our reality. It’s life’s biggest joke to think that what we ‘do’ creates our reality. At the end of the day believing that will only ever have us land in a belief that we are not good enough so this is a doomed response. No happy endings here that’s for sure.
I wonder what you may have tried to fix that had you end up in feeling not good enough?
We fall into the rabbit hole
Why why why is this happening? What trauma, childhood experience do I continue to be a victim to? Now this is an interesting point considering that I am a coach and of course I work with trauma. I’ve worked with mine and I’ve worked with many others. The problem here however is that we get stuck in the never ending trauma loop when we see ourselves as victim of that circumstance. I see a lot of this in my industry. That’s not to say that really shitty things don’t happen because they do, but if we continue to identify with the role of victim, we have decided that we are powerless and the deeper we go into the rabbit hole, delaying our ultimate freedom.
We can be addicted to a lot of things including the role of victim. I wonder where you may be feeling powerless to change things?
You know what I’m seeing all around me this year?
People who have decided that they can no longer tolerate unhappiness.
People who have decided that they can no longer tolerate same shit different day.
People who have decided that they can no longer pretend that what they’ve been doing to change things is working.
People who have decided that they can no longer turn their own backs on themselves and deny who they most desire to be.
People who have decided that humility is their friend.
People who are ready to no longer respond from any or all of the four points I made above about resistance because after all, these responses are resistance in action.
They do not enable a complete transformation because the transformation has not been the consequence of a decision they’ve made about what they choose for themselves from a deep well of self-love. And that’s where every life-long transformation is birthed from.
Shame will only ever perpetuate that undesired reality.
I trust my vulnerable piece of sharing has been provocative, has made you think and face up to where your respond with resistance rather than self-love and knowing.
Please let me know.
Gisele
I had a very restless night a few weeks back. My intuition was working me asking me to ‘boot up’ the new Untapped Abundance Mastermind and so for those who give themselves this yearlong program that is committed to facilitating complete transformation, I will reduce the fee by AUD$5,000 from AUD$35,000 to AUD$30,000 for those who enrol before 10 March. You can read more here.
Great modelling of “going first” Gisele