The Non Turn-Backable Decision That Changes The Game For Good

And when pain and suffering is on a loop cycle

We are either creating abundance in all the things that matter the most or we’re creating drama.

It’s one or the other. There is no grey area.

This year themed ‘The Breakthrough Year’ has been a deeply honest and inner examination of this premise. Where have I been creating drama and what has been the cause of that? And where have I been creating abundance and what has been the cause of that? And what has freed me from the drama so that never, ever happens again?

This has been the road that my clients and I have travelled with an acute eye for detail and nuance. And it’s been well worth it. This year has been a game changer, our timelines shifting realities into greater freedom, peace, wellness, more crystallised purpose, more authentic expression and wealth.

And most importantly getting off the loop cycle of pain and suffering.

Here are some of the ways this has happened.

Rigour and Discipline

I just had breakfast with one of my best friends. We were talking about the no-grey area of the premise that we are either creating abundance or drama, and what it takes to stay in the orientation of abundance.

Let me tell you it doesn’t happen through mere awareness and intention.

It happens by getting our hands dirty in the soil of commitment, consistency and by being rigorous and disciplined with our thoughts, emotions, decisions and behaviours.

I get it. We’re human and we will react to things and most things we react to won’t really matter. But some reactions do.

Reactions that cause chaos matter.

Reactions that cause separation and disconnection matter.

Reactions that cause disease matter.

Reactions that cause war with ourselves and each other matter.

Reactions of malice created to hurt matter.

About a month ago I’d just completed a call with someone who shared a very inspiring idea. I got off Zoom and went to my husband in full excitement to share the idea. He cut me off with a negative response even before I got my first sentence out. I was furious! I reacted strongly barking judgments about his small mindedness. He barked back at me. It wasn’t a loving interaction at all.

I went to the kitchen to cook dinner and had all sorts of negative thoughts running through my mind. How can we be together? We’re so different. Blah blah blah. Until I remembered that we really are different, and that’s OK. I see things in their formless state. He doesn’t. He’s practical. But he then sees what I could see in its formless state when it’s here on the ground. Acceptance arrived and anger left.

I went to him and said ‘we didn’t talk very lovingly to each other did we?’ And he apologised, as did I, and we embraced.

That reaction didn’t really matter.

What keeps us in the pain and suffering loop cycle

The pain and suffering loop cycle prevails in the absence of humility and the ability to take responsibility.

The pain and suffering loop cycle prevails when we are more committed to our identity and wounding (than who we really are) by

• setting our relationships and life circumstances up so that our not good enoughness, unworthiness, unlovability, distrust, unsafety, powerlessness are again proven right

• being addicted to the healing aspect of our wounding which keeps our focus and energy on a never ending repetitive soundtrack

• believing that pain and suffering are the only catalysts to growth, freedom, peace and joy

• and through laziness despite having a good level of self-awareness

The question of integrity

I just got off the phone with someone who’s at one of those real life junctures. It was a provocative conversation. Does she ‘do the work’ to lead from a place of deep self-trust, inner knowing and fullness or does she continue putting on the corporate mask knowing full well that the change she seeks to make will never be made from here?

If things are not going as well as they could, if our sense of happiness, peace and aliveness is not what it could be, there’s a decision point that we all get to. From a place of personal responsibility, what do we choose for ourselves? Do we continue going down the path of pain and suffering? Or do we make the choice to love, value, respect and trust ourselves? For some the latter choice is inevitable. For others the choice is to continue the habit of dishonouring self and each other - even when they appear to be ‘doing the work’ as per the previous points in ‘What keeps us in the pain and suffering loop cycle’.

I love the premise ‘structure has integrity’. The undeservedness to fully be happy will create a reality in alignment with that. Whereas the decision to be fiercely fucking deserving to be happy will also create a reality in alignment with that.

Your version of reality will be in integrity with the orientation from which you live. Again no grey area.

The non turn-bankable decision that changes everything

Will you choose to create abundance in all the things that matter to you…..or….will you choose to create drama?

If you choose to create abundance with commitment, consistency and rigour and discipline as your team mates, this will be the non turn-bankable decision that will change the game for good.

And trust me here. You will be tested. My sister Michelle calls these ‘Universal Bills’.

At breakfast this morning I was sharing with Meg that what once hurt me greatly no longer hurts. What once felt like a knife to the heart when someone questions the purity of my intention no longer does. And therefore there’s no reaction. And because there’s no reaction there’s no drama that will hijack me away from staying on course.

She asked me how I got to this place which is a very different place to where I was a year ago.

I told her that when I felt the knife in my heart earlier this year I allowed myself to fully feel that hurt. I didn't ignore it. In fact it would have been physically impossible for me to do that. I didn’t try to resolve it or relieve it away. Instead I went right into the heart of it. It didn't last for months or years. I walked on the beach that night for about an hour and cried a lot and felt the hurt….until I experienced my own shift in perception - that no one needs to see the purity and innocence of my heart, but me. And I was free.

I knew that that experience was a never, ever again moment.

Joy is purpose

I can feel the magic of 2024. I can feel how powerful it will be, how joyful it will be and how much grace will be present. This is not coming from a ‘I can’t wait for the year to be over’ place as is often the case in the anticipation of the new year. I am so incredibly grateful for 2023 and all the transpired.

This year has been a year of real listening - listening to the pulls, listening to what felt alive for me and what no longer did and receiving new vision that is founded in a greater generosity, a purity of intention and integrity. This has been a year of diligently going into the places where undeservedness, powerlessness and lovelessness were present - into my blindspots. This year has been one where the thresholds I’d placed on myself are no longer there. This year has brought me to this moment where the catalyst for growth is with no ambiguity - joy.

I had a dream a few weeks ago where I was in ‘uncontrollable joy’. I’ve been here before. It’s here once again. And not just for me, but for those who know in the depths of their bones that it is inevitable that they too will make (or possibly have made) the non turn-backable decision that changes the game for good.

And….are prepared to get their hands dirty in the soil of commitment, consistency and by being rigorous and disciplined with our thoughts, emotions, decisions and behaviours.

Unless I’m inspired to write again, I wish you a happy festive season and holiday. Thanks for reading my writing and to those who comment, like and share, I really appreciate your generosity.

Until the next time.

Love,

Gisele